Naruto BLEACHED
by Zygobranchiate
Summary: What happens when you cross Naruto and Bleach? Ninja masquerading as Soul Reapers, overpowered zanpakuto, and a crossover crackpairing, oh my!
1. Welcome to Soul Society

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach

Summary: What happens when you cross Naruto with Bleach? Ninja masquerading as Soul Reapers, overpowered zanpakuto, and a crossover crack pairing, oh my!

Note: This story contains major Bleach bashing, so please don't read this if you like Bleach, unless you don't mind. Here it goes!

Chapter One: Welcome to Soul Society 

There was a feeling of drifting, of floating in the air like a feather carried by the lazy wind currents, not knowing where he was going, and not having a care in the world…until he felt himself hit the ground none too gently.

It took him a moment to come to his senses. He didn't know who he was, or

where he was. Then, it all came back in a moment.

"Hey, Sasuke!"

He blinked for a few moments. A familiar blond-haired boy stood near him, grinning widely. "Naruto?" The words were sluggish in his mouth. His eyes drifted until he saw a familiar-looking group of people. Everyone was there: his teammates, Naruto and Sakura, and his peers and fellow ninja from his hometown, the Hidden Leaf Village. "Wha...how did I get here?"

Naruto shrugged. "I dunno. I seem to remember dying…and…oh, wait! Someone stamped my forehead with a sword!"

If Sasuke didn't recall the same thing himself, he probably would have called Naruto crazy. "But where _is_ this place?" To his embarrassment, his stomach began rumbling loudly. He clamped his hands over it, as if to quell the noise. _Dangit…Naruto's the one who likes to eat, not me!_

Sakura looked around. "If we all remember dying, then…does that mean this is the afterlife?"

"If you're right, then this sure is a sucky afterlife," Shikamaru, the lazy genius, commented with a yawn. "I mean, who would want to live here?"

Sasuke had to admit that Shikamaru was right. They were in the middle of a crowded street lined with shabby-looking buildings. Everywhere were people wearing tattered clothing. Some were downright dirty, while others obviously tried to keep themselves clean. Few smiled.

Naruto, Sasuke, and Leaf ninja stood out like a sore thumb in the crowd: Naruto with his bright orange jacket and spiky blond hair, Sakura with her bright red-and-pink clothing and pink hair, and Sasuke with the bright purple rope tied like a bow around his waist. Kiba had red face paint and a black leather jacket, Lee wore a green jumpsuit, and Neji had his spotless Hyuuga robes. It didn't take long for them to notice that they were all hungry. Very hungry.

"I hope they have ramen around here!" Naruto ran forward a few steps before stopping dead. "Gaara? You're here too?"

The Leaf ninja looked and, indeed, saw the three Sand siblings from the Hidden Sand Village. After a quick hello, Temari whispered to Sakura, "You guys might want to watch out. Gaara's in a really bad mood right now."

Unfortunately, Naruto was oblivious to Gaara's mood, which was quite understandable, seeing as Gaara rarely showed any emotion at all. "So, Gaara, does that mean you're dead—"

The ground split under Gaara's feet. Several people screamed as the street cracked in half. Gaara's voice was dangerously calm. "Can someone explain _why_ we are dead, why we are in the middle of nowhere, and why we're all hungry?!"

Everything seemed to freeze. Naruto noticed Gaara's eyes becoming bloodshot and ran through a dozen possible things to say. Gaara did not like not knowing what was going on, and he did not like being hungry and having no food.

"Hey, what's the holdup here? Move it, 'scuse me, pardon me, out of the way…"

The crowd parted. The ninja saw a man wearing black robes, a sheathed sword by his side, and—most noticeably—red hair in a ponytail. Sasuke, interested, noticed he had tattoos instead of eyebrows. He was also wearing a pair of expensive-looking sunglasses on his forehead.

"Okay, you newcomers, who did this?" He pointed to the crack in the sidewalk.

"I did. Now, can you explain where we are and how we got here?" Gaara said, still in an icy tone of voice.

"You're in Soul Society, and you're here because you're dead. End of story. Now, you, come with me."

Gaara didn't move. The man rolled his eyes. "You're hungry, right? Well, if you just follow me, you'll get food—"

"WHAT?!" Naruto yelled. "We're all hungry here! Don't you have a soup kitchen or something in this card board jungle?"

The man scrutinized the ninja. "You say you're all hungry?"

"Yes! Where's the food?"

The man deliberated for a while. "Okay, listen up. I'm Renji Abarai, Lieutenant of the Sixth Division in the Gotei Thirteen. You all have off-the-chart spiritual energy, so you lot can follow me and become Soul Reapers. Unless you'd rather stay here, of course."

"What's a Soul Reaper?" half a dozen voices asked at the same time.

"I'll explain later. Just follow me." Renji walked away. The ninja, by this time weak with hunger, followed after him.

In the back, Gaara still sulked. Being dead did not agree with him at all.


	2. To Each His Own Zanpakuto

Chapter Two: To Each His Own Zanpakuto

After the longed-for meal, Renji explained to them about Soul Reapers. "The mission of a Soul Reaper's mission is to send good souls, or 'Wholes', to Soul Society. We also purify the bad souls, or 'Hollows', so that they can enter Soul Society also."

"Is that all? That sounds like a boring job," Naruto commented.

Renji glared at him. "I'm not finished! We all have zanpakuto," he said, patting his sword, "which are manifestations of our spiritual energy and all have unique abilities."

Naruto still didn't look convinced. Neji ventured, "And you fight with these…zanpakuto?"

"Correct. We can also use kido, or the demon arts, when we fight against Hollows."

"…And that's it? Is that all there is to a Soul Reaper?"

Renji began to become impatient. "What do you mean, 'that's it'? Yes, a zanpakuto is all you need to defeat ordinary Hollows!"

The ninja sat in silence. No one felt like undertaking the immense task of briefing the lieutenant on why projectiles and jutsu were useful—no, essential—in a battle. Sakura asked, "When do we get our zanpakuto?"

"That's what I was getting to. See, usually people have to go to the Soul Reaper Academy to become Soul Reapers after many years of training. But, since you all have such enormous spiritual energy, you are going to become Soul Reapers first and learn everything in a few days, just like the great Ichigo Kurosaki."

"Who?"

"A Soul Reaper who lives on earth."

Shikamaru interjected, "But you just said that only dead people could become Soul Reapers."

"Never mind. It's complicated. Anyway, today you're going to get your Soul Reaper uniforms and start training." Renji brandished a black robe identical to the one he was wearing.

The ninja stared. "We have to where _that_ thing? It's so boring!" Ino complained. "Can't we at least have different colors?"

"No. This is the standard Soul Reaper uniform that all Soul Reapers must wear."

None of the ninja were planning on taking him seriously, however. Already, they were planning on ways to alter their uniforms to their liking.

The next morning, Renji's jaw dropped as he saw the ninja. Naruto's was bright orange and black. Sasuke, as he had no fashion sense whatsoever and liked the emo color black, did not modify anything. Sakura's uniform was red and pink, with cherry blossom decorations all over it. There was a gap around the sleeves; they were connected to the rest of the outfit with red cords. Ino had sawed off a lot of her purple uniform, leaving a mini-skirt with a sleeveless top. Ten Ten's uniform was white with dark pink trim, Hinata's was white and lavender, and Temari's was also purple. Shino somehow attached a high collar and hood to his uniform, while Gaara's uniform was a dull red. Lee wore a green uniform and Neji wore a white one. The rest kept the uniform as it was, even though Kankuro felt oddly exposed without his usual cap.

"Do all lieutenants gape like that?" Neji asked, trying to make Renji get on with it. "Our sewing skills aren't that bad!"

Renji shut his mouth. "Uh, that is…you all should have received your zanpakuto by now."

Naruto checked his side. "Hey, I have one!"

"We _all_ have one," Shikamaru replied pointedly.

"Okay, now, the first thing you need to do is learn how to use your zanpakuto—"

Sasuke sighed with impatience. "I already know how to use a sword."

"Yeah, well, that doesn't mean the rest of us do," Naruto shot back.

A vein throbbed on Renji's forehead. "Shut up, you two! The point is that you need to learn the name of your zanpakuto to increase your power. Every zanpakuto has a name and some have a physical form as well. For example…" Renji unsheathed his own zanpakuto. "Roar, Zabimaru!"

The ninja watched as Renji's ordinary-looking sword transformed into a many-sectioned weapon. Renji demonstrated how the segments could extend and retract. "This is called the initial release, or shikai. Every zanpakuto's initial release is different. There's also something called the final release, or bankai, which is a highly advanced technique that is only known to captains, with the exception of Ichigo Kurosaki, myself, and a third seat Soul Reaper."

"That technique doesn't sound very advanced, then," Shino said.

"What does the final release look like?" Ten Ten asked.

"It depends on the zanpakuto," was Renji's vague answer.

The ninja weren't ready to give up, however. "Come on, show us yours," Kiba said eagerly.

"No way. It uses too much spiritual energy. I'm not going to do my bankai just to show you lot."

Kankuro sniggered. "Guess that means you can't do it, then. Come on, let's find someone who is willing to show us."

A vein popped visibly on the side of Renji's face. "Okay, you asked for it!" He held Zabimaru in front of him. "_Ban…kai!_"

As the ninja looked on, Zabimaru transformed into a giant, skeletal snake. A furry cowl was draped over Renji's shoulders. "So this is the final release, you say?" Shino asked.

"My final release." The next moment, the snake had disappeared and Zabimaru looked like an ordinary katana again. He sheathed his zanpakuto. "But maintaining bankai costs a lot of spiritual energy."

"You said that already." Naruto grinned to himself. Oh, there was no chance of that happening to him. Not with the spiritual energy of the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox that lived inside of him.


	3. How to Become a Soul Reaper in One Day

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach

Chapter Three: How to Become a Soul Reaper in One Day

Renji led the ninja through the academy. Many people turned to look at the oddly-dressed newcomers as they walked down the hallway. Some glanced questioningly at Renji. "We'll be training here." Renji flung open the doors and took them into a small field. At the other end stood targets lined up side by side.

"So what are we going to be doing here?" asked Shikamaru, glancing at the targets. "A target practice or something?"

"Yeah, you got that right," said Renji. "I'll show you what kido is. I'm going to show you a destructive spell called 'Blue Fire, Crash Down'." Renji walked closer to the target. _What did I get myself into?_ he thought, sweat pouring down his face. _My weak point is kido. Oh well, they probably won't be able to tell the difference._ Taking a deep breath, Renji chanted, "O Lord, mask of flesh and bone, all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man, truth and temperance…"

"What the heck is he saying?" Naruto muttered, loudly enough for everyone to hear. "If this is some kind of jutsu, it's pointless to use if it's so long."

"…upon this sinless wall of dreams, unleash but slightly the wrath of your claws! Blue Fire—" Renji paused dramatically before shouting, "Crash Down!"

There was a big boom and a large cloud of smoke appeared. The ninja coughed and swatted the smoke away. When the smoke cleared, Renji stood in the middle of the training field, burnt like a roasted marshmallow left in the fire for too long.

"Does that spell make you explode yourself?" Neji said sarcastically. "Performing seals is much more efficient." A vein throbbed on Renji's forehead.

"How ridiculous," Gaara commented.

All of a sudden, a voice said, "Looks like you're having trouble with kido, Renji. Let me show them how to do it!" A girl with glossy raven black hair stepped delicately onto the field.

"Yeah, you show them, Rukia," Renji muttered, stepping aside.

Sasuke's heart stopped before beating triple speed as he watched Rukia. She floated across the field, leaving ripples on the grass. Standing a few feet from the burnt Renji, she chanted, "Ye Lord, mask of blood and flesh, all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man, inferno and pandemonium, the sea barrier surges, march on to the south! Shot of Red Fire!"

This time, a ball of red fire shot out of her slender hands and hit the center of the target. Everyone cheered but Sasuke, whose head still echoed with Rukia's voice, as clear as a bell.

"Hey Sasuke, are you all right?" Naruto looked a bit worried.

Startled, Sasuke automatically replied, "Fine."

Farther down the field, Renji said, "Thanks, Rukia."

"No problem." Rukia walked daintily out the door, Sasuke's eyes following her all the way.

"Who was she?" asked Chouji, munching on a bag of chips.

"Oh. She's just a friend," replied Renji. Clapping to get everyone's attention, he said, "Now we'll move onto zanpakuto training."

"If you can actually use one," muttered Shino.

"This is the battleground," said Renji, walking to the center of a different field. The ninja looked dubious after what had happened with kido practice.

"So what are you going to teach us?" Kankuro said cynically. "How to cut off our own heads and hack off our own limbs?"

"Shut up!" barked Renji. He took slow deep breaths before saying, "I'm going to teach you the basics. Then you can figure out the initial releases and what not." Unsheathing his sword, Renji said, "This is a thrust." Everyone copied his movements except for Sasuke, who was off to the side of the group battling an imaginary person. After Renji had taught them all he knew about sword play, he walked over to Sasuke.

"You're pretty good. Do you want to duel?" Renji asked.

Sasuke smirked. "I will show you the power of Uchiha…bring it on." Suddenly, a thought struck him. "Wait, I don't know my initial release!"

"Oh. I'll teach you. First, you must find the name of your zanpakuto…"

Sasuke observed his blade. After a few moments, he said, puzzled, "Housenka?"

"That must be the name of your zanpakuto," explained Renji.

"Okay then. Let's start!" said Sasuke. "Burn, Housen—"

"Um, do you guys have to fight?" asked a timid voice. Renji and Sasuke whirled around.

"Why, Hinata?" asked Sasuke.

"Well, Because everyone is waiting. They are all bored. They sent me to tell you," Hinata answered in a shy voice.

"Well, we might as well move on to the last part of Soul Reaper fighting." Renji walked over to the ninja and said, "Now, I will teach you hand to hand combat."

"Wahooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Rock Lee shouted.

"Yeah! Bring it on!" shouted Kiba.

Renji was starting to get a very bad migraine.

"So, we'll still be training here," said Renji, feeling thankful that this was the last thing he had to teach them. "Who doesn't want to participate?"

"Count me out," said Kankuro, heading to the edge of the field to play with his puppets.

"I'll be leaving too," said Gaara, who followed Kankuro. He wanted to play with his sand.

"Anyone else?" asked Renji.

"I don't think I'll participate," said Shino. He walked to the opposite side of the field and started practicing with his bugs.

"Okay. The only way of learning hand to hand combat is by practicing a lot," said Renji, unaware of how good the ninja were at hand to hand combat. "So first, I'll teach you the basics. There are punches and kicks, and if we have a lot of time, we'll work on flash steps." Curling his fist and holding it straight in front of him, he said, "This is a—"

All of a sudden, Rock Lee appeared in back of him and kicked him hard in the back. Renji went flying through the air and landed heavily on the ground.

"What was that for?!" he shouted angrily.

"We all already know taijutsu," said Lee. "Actually, we're quite good at it."

"What's tai…jutsu?" asked Renji.

"It's fighting or hand to hand combat or whatever you call it," said Lee.

"Can we get on with it?" asked Kiba, poking Renji to make him get up.

"Yeah. It's getting a bit boring," said Chouji. "Now where's my other bag of chips?"

"Fine. We can skip hand to hand combat. You guys seem to know a lot about it," said Renji, getting up. "I have an idea."

"What is it?" asked Shino, who was walking back to the group. "Is it dealing with explosives?"

"No!" shouted Renji. He had had enough of the ninja. "Okay, I'll change my mind. You lot don't deserve it," said Renji.

"What?" asked Chouji.

"Oh, nothing," said Renji.

"With his skills, I wonder how he even became a lieutenant," Neji muttered, shaking his head.

"Shut up!"


	4. The Nouble House of Kuchiki

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Naruto

Chapter Four: The Noble House of Kuchiki

Training ended early, as Renji was quite exhausted and exasperated with his charges and was determined to dump the task on someone else. The ninja, unsure of what to do in the boring city, dispersed. Naruto and Chouji went to find a good restaurant while most of the others trained, as there was nothing else to do. Sasuke, however, had something else in mind.

When he was certain no one was looking, he snuck away from the group and started walking around the city. He wanted to find Rukia, yet he had no idea where to start, and he didn't want to ask anyone for fear of being ridiculed. So the result was that he was wandering, lost, around Soul Society.

"What did I get myself into?" muttered Sasuke. Looking around, he said to himself, "I'm pretty sure I saw that wall six times already!" Glancing at the sun, he said, "I might as well ask directions back." As he walked around a corner, he suddenly bumped into someone.

"Oh, sorry!"

The familiar songlike voice caused Sasuke's ears to perk up. Indeed, Rukia, the very Soul Reaper he had been looking for, was standing right in front of him. He fumbled for words. "Er, excuse me, but I'm lost. Could you show me where the training grounds are?"

Rukia looked at him, tilting her head. "I remember you. You're one of the newcomers, right?" She held out her hand. "I'm Rukia Kuchiki. Thirteenth Division. Pleased to meet you."

He shook her hand. "Sasuke Uchiha." He couldn't think of anything else that was witty enough to say, so he just followed her as she led him through the streets.

"I suppose you've heard of my brother?" she asked him.

Sasuke racked his brains, trying to remember any mention of the name Kuchiki. "No, sorry, I haven't."

"He's the captain of the Sixth Division."

"Really?" Sasuke's interest was piqued. "He must be a strong Soul Reaper, then."

"Yes, he is," Rukia said, somewhat distantly.

Seizing upon the moment to make conversation, Sasuke said, "I had an older brother, too. But he wasn't as noble as your brother sounds."

Rukia looked at him curiously. As much as it pained Sasuke to talk about Itachi in such a civil way, he was determined to do it for the sake of this conversation. "He was…rather aloof, dark, mysterious, and powerful." _Powerful enough to be a world-class criminal, but I guess I can't say that._

"Really?" Rukia's large eyes grew even wider. "So is Byakuya!"

Sasuke was surprised. "What a coincidence," he said, and almost smacked himself on the forehead. _What kind of thing to say was THAT?_ Inner Sasuke yelled.

Rukia smiled. "I didn't know we had so much in common."

Sasuke felt the heat creep up his neck. "Yeah," he muttered. Inner Sasuke was still shouting at him. _Say something, you dork!_

"The training grounds are straight ahead." Rukia pointed in front of her.

"Thanks. Sorry for being a hassle."

"No problem!" Sasuke was struck by Rukia's dazzling smile. "Farewell, Sasuke Uchiha."

Sasuke waved. "See you later…Rukia!"

"Wait!" Rukia was blushing. "Um, I was wondering…are you free tomorrow?"

Sasuke knew he was supposed to be training, but he said, "Yes. Why?"

"Well…um…tomorrow, if you have time, I can give you a tour of Soul Society. I know Renji's been focusing on training and stuff, but there's really a lot more to Soul Society than he said."

Sasuke's heart lifted. "That would be great!"

"Okay. Let's meet at seven o'clock at the training grounds."

Sasuke smiled—genuinely, for the first time in a long time. "Thanks a lot, Rukia."

"See you tomorrow!" Rukia waved and dashed off, barely concealing her blushing face.

Inner Sasuke screamed, _CHA! She totally fell for me! LOVE WINS!_


	5. The Demons of Seireitei

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach

Chapter Five: The Demons of Seireitei

Naruto was bored. There were no good ramen restaurants in Seireitei, the inner city of Soul Society—all they served was some unappetizing mush. According to Renji, the ninja had eight days to train before they were ready for a mission. Everyone else seemed to be doing their own things: Sakura and Ino were squabbling about whose kido skills were better, Temari and Ten Ten were practicing their initial releases against each other, Neji and Lee were training partners, Kankuro was training with Shino, Kiba, Chouji, and Shikamaru. And Sasuke…come to think of it, where was Sasuke? The thought vanished from Naruto's mind, however, as he saw a certain red-haired ex-homicidal-psychopath with the kanji for "love" tattooed on his forehead.

"Hey, Gaara!" shouted Naruto.

Gaara turned. "What?"

Naruto was grinning as he ran up to Gaara. "Aren't you going to train with the others?"

"No. I still don't buy into all this Soul Reaper stuff."

"I know what you mean. I mean, this training is really boring, and this city is boring too. They don't even have a single ramen restaurant!"

"Did you find any restaurants that serve beef tongue and gizzards?" Gaara asked. He had a strange taste for food.

While the two had been talking, a certain Soul Reaper watched them. He was large and hulking, scars running down his face and an eye patch over one eye. He had spiky black hair, tanned skin, and a ragged captain's uniform. A smile that was growing more maniacal by the minute spread across his face. He finally leapt from his hiding place right in front of the startled duo.

"I'm Captain Kenpachi Zaraki of the Eleventh Division," he said, flashing his teeth as he bared a grin. "You two have extraordinary levels of spiritual energy. Let's fight!"

Naruto and Gaara merely stared at him. "What?"

Kenpachi unsheathed his zanpakuto and attempted to dice them. Naruto yelled, "H-hey! We didn't do it, whatever it was—"

"Why aren't you fighting back?" Kenpachi shouted. "This isn't any fun! The great Ichigo Kurosaki was much better!"

Naruto looked over at Gaara, whose sand was blocking Kenpachi's frenzied attempts to butcher him. "Gaara, this reminds me of the time you were a homicidal freak."

Gaara didn't hear him. "I think I'll use Sand Burial on this guy to finish him off."

A sudden thought struck Naruto. "Wait, Gaara! If you kill him, that means you'll have to be captain instead of him!"

Gaara slapped his forehead. "Oh, great! So we can't kill him, but how are we supposed to get rid of him?"

Naruto somersaulted backwards as Kenpachi tried to cleave him in half. "Renji said the final release was the most powerful thing for Soul Reapers, right? Let's do that! Wait…what are we supposed to say again?"

"Oh, I remember," said Gaara, matter-of-factly. "It started with a 'b'. Banjo!" They both waited. Nothing happened.

"Are you sure?" asked Naruto, leaping into the air as he dodged Kenpachi's attacks. "Maybe it was something else."

"Hold on a moment. It was bano. Banhai. Bonsai.…Bankai! That's it. Bankai."

"Okay!" said Naruto. "That sounds right."

They nodded at each other. Unsheathing their zanpakuto, they shouted, "Bankai!"

Both of the zanpakuto began to glow. Naruto's zanpakuto became the Kyuubi, the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox. Gaara's zanpakuto became the sand demon Shukaku.

Naruto gulped as the Kyuubi leered at him. "…Gaara? Was this supposed to happen?"

Gaara was equally dumbfounded. "No. Definitely not."

They had almost forgotten Kenpachi. "C'mon, fight back, you cowards! Fighting is pointless if you have no fun!"

"Run!" Naruto yelled, to no one in particular. He sprinted down the street. Gaara fled after Naruto. Behind them, they could hear screams and loud crashes as the demons began to demolish the city. The demons' roars mingled with Kenpachi's.

"Someone call the captains!" a Soul Reaper yelled.

The ground shook underneath the fleeing ninja. The Kyuubi raised one of its nine tails and slammed it onto the earth. Deep fissures appeared, and Naruto and Gaara struggled not to fall into the crevasses.

"Who let these Hollows in?" They looked down. The speaker was a boy with spiky white hair, wearing the white uniform of a captain.

"What are Hollows?" Naruto asked Gaara. "I think Renji mentioned them once…"

"Who cares?" was Gaara's laconic reply.

The boy unsheathed his zanpakuto from his back. "Ban…kai!" he yelled. Icy wings grew from his back and an icy formation shaped like a dragon's head covered his arm. Three ice flowers materialized behind him.

As the ninja watched, the boy traded blows with the demons. He was unable to damage them, while they nearly crushed him several times. He was sweating visibly. "Call for backup!" he barked at the other Soul Reapers. "These two are unlike any Hollows we've ever seen before!"

Naruto ran over to the boy. "Hey, you! I was wondering if you could help us?"

"Can't you see I'm busy here?" the boy roared back.

Naruto pouted. "Well, I just thought you might want to know…those are our bankai! Zanpakuto! How do we…er…un-bankai them?"

"You've got to be kidding me," the boy groaned. "These are your bankai? Well, just focus and think of it returning to its sealed state, obviously!"

They did. Shortly afterward, the Kyuubi and Shukaku became, once again, two ordinary zanpakuto. However, they didn't go before letting out a howl that nearly shattered everyone in Seireitei's eardrums.

The boy deactivated his own bankai. "I take it you're part of the group of new Soul Reapers that only joined a week ago?"

"Yeah," Naruto said, picking up his zanpakuto. "And who are you?"

"Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya of the Eleventh Division," the boy replied. "It would be in your best interests not to use your bankai again in Seireitei."

Gaara rolled his eyes. "Well, thanks for that advice," he said sarcastically.

Naruto waved. "Let's get back to the others. Bye, Toshiro!"

A vein throbbed on Toshiro's forehead. "It's CAPTAIN Hitsugaya!"

"Whatever." Turning to Gaara, Naruto muttered, "What's up with these captains and lieutenants? They're all so picky about their titles."

Gaara shrugged. "Maybe it's to cover up for their lack of personality."


	6. Ino's Long Day

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach

Chapter Seven: Ino's Long Day

"Hey, Sakura, did you hear what just happened?"

Sakura stopped swinging her zanpakuto. "No, what?"

Breathless, Ino said, "Naruto and Gaara were attacked by one of the captains, so they used their bankai and their bankai became the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox and the One-Tailed Shukaku!"

Sakura's eyes widened. "Really?"

"I'm so jealous! They already know their bankai. I wish I knew mine!" Ino sighed with resignation and said, "Conquer, Shintenshin!"

Her zanpakuto elongated and became a blue pillar of light. Sakura grinned smugly. "Hey Ino-pig, my initial release is better than yours! Awaken, Uchinaru!" Her zanpakuto glowed pink as cherry blossom petals appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh, yeah? Well mine can take over peoples' minds and has a longer range than I used to have!"

Sakura smirked. "Mine can either hurt people or heal them. That beats possessing people by a mile."

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

Ino threw her zanpakuto like a javelin. Sakura dodged and laughed spitefully at Ino's slumped body. She turned her head and watched as the blue beam of light disappeared into the wall of the academy. "Haha, Ino! Tough luck!"

However, Ino's spirit did not stop because of the wall, but went through it. She passed by many Soul Reapers until she finally hit someone in the back. She felt disoriented. _Whose body am I in?_

"Renji!" shouted an irritated voice. All of a sudden, a person appeared in front of her. He had on a captain's uniform and an expensive looking scarf, as well as a strange headpiece.

"Renji!" said the man.

Realizing that she was in Renji's body, Ino said, "What?"

"Such disrespectable behavior," the man said.

"What am I supposed to say? And who are you?" asked Ino, utterly confused.

"I'm Captain Kuchiki," said Byakuya. "Have you been drinking? You don't seem like yourself."

"Uhh, no," stuttered Ino-in-Renji. "I…err…I hit my head today. Twice."

"Come, Renji, there is plenty of paper work to finish," said Byakuya, walking down the street. After what seemed like a long time, they walked to a large complex with a sign that read "Sixth Division" on it. They entered the building and walked down a maze of corridors until they came to a room.

"All the paperwork is on the desk," said Byakuya, leaving Ino-in-Renji by the door. She pushed the door open to find a messy office. Paperwork lay scattered on the desk and floor. Gingerly walking across the room, she saw the large pile of paperwork for her to fill out.

"I have to do this?" she moaned, sitting on the chair. She noticed an assortment of sunglasses on the table.

"He even collects sunglasses," she muttered to herself. "Expensive-looking ones. Are these worth a month's paycheck or what?" Reaching for a brush, she started filling out the paperwork. "What does this mean?" she said with a groan. After a while of writing random things and making checkmarks in random boxes, there was a knock on the door.

"Enter?" she said in an uncertain voice. A Soul Reaper with black hair came running into the room.

"Captain Kuchiki told us how you hit your head," said the Soul Reaper. He took out a plate with food Ino didn't even recognize. "I brought you some treats and a drink." The Soul Reaper placed the plate on the messy desk. "Can I do anything else for you?"

Using her chance to escape the ultimate boredom, she asked, "Would you mind doing all this paper work?" Before the Soul Reaper could reply, she dashed out the door at full speed. She jogged down the hallway.

"Now where's the exit?" she said. As she passed a Soul Reaper, she asked, "Where's the exit?"

"Uh, it's the other way, Lieutenant Abarai," said the Soul Reaper. Ino turned around and went the other way. She ran down the hallway until she came to a fork in the corridor. "Now what?" she muttered. Taking a hall to the left, she ran down it.

"Aha!" she said. "The exit!" she ran to the door, but when she opened the door, it was only a garden. "You've got to be kidding me!" she screamed.

"Lieutenant Abarai, are you all right?" asked the passing Soul Reapers who were taking a break.

"I hit my head," Ino-in-Renji said, deciding that lie was the best explanation. "Where's the exit?"

The Soul Reapers looked at each other, bewildered. "Shouldn't you know where it is?" one asked hesitantly.

"Do I need to spell it for you?" she shouted. "Where—is—the—exit?!" The Soul Reapers led her to the exit.

"Where do you plan on going?" one of the group ventured.

"None of your business!" she snapped. She left the building and walked into the busy streets of Seireitei.

"Shoot! Now how do I get to the training grounds?" Ino-in-Renji said in utter despair.

"Are you all right, Renji?" said a voice. Ino-in-Renji turned around and saw a girl with brown hair gathered into a bun.

Ino was tempted to say that she wasn't Renji, but didn't. "I'm okay, but who are you?"

"Uh, I'm Momo Hinamori?" she said, confused. When she saw Ino-in-Renji's blank look, she continued, "Lieutenant of the Fifth Division?"

Ino-in-Renji laughed nervously. "Oh, yeah! Sorry, I hit my head today."

Momo still looked rather dubious. "Renji, I was going to ask you a question…"

Ino-in-Renji took off at full speed. The last thing she wanted was to get into a long conversation and answer questions she didn't know how to answer. Finally, Ino saw the familiar training grounds. When she got there, however, she saw that her body wasn't anywhere. "Where's my body?" Ino said in horror.

"What are you doing here, Renji?" asked Sakura, holding the limp form of Ino's body.

"Give me my body!" said Ino-in-Renji, reaching for it.

Sakura pulled away, a baffled look on her face. "What are you doing?"

"Just put my body on the ground," said Ino desperately.

"Why?"

"Just do it!" Sakura laid down the body.

"Release!" said Ino. The next moment, she found herself lying on the grass with Sakura towering above her.

"So that's what happened to you!" Sakura said. Not far away, Renji lay moaning on the grass. "I thought your spirit got lost in Seireitei!"

Ino stuck out her tongue. "Nah. No such luck."

Renji had a major headache as he stumbled back to his office. Byakuya suddenly appeared in front of him. "C-Captain Kuchiki! Excuse me, but I feel horrible…"

"Hit your head again?" Byakuya said wryly.

"What?"

Byakuya ignored his blank stare. "Renji, I'm assigning you double paperwork next week."

Renji's jaw dropped. "What? Why?"

"Because of your incompetence, the Sixth Division is now in debt! I was going to fire you, but all of the other buffoons make you look like a genius. So be glad you're still Lieutenant of the Sixth Division."

Renji stared at his captain, completely and utterly perplexed.


	7. A Sleeve as White as Snow

Chapter Eight: A Sleeve as White as Snow

Sasuke couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned on his uncomfortable bed in the boys' room of the house the ninja were staying in. Only one other person was awake, and that was Gaara, an insomniac. Gaara stayed out on the roof, brooding about how he wished he was still alive.

Finally, at five o'clock, Sasuke slipped out of the room and went to the training grounds. He started jogging around, only subconsciously aware of how much extra energy he had. _What should I say when she comes? Is my hair all right? I should've changed my uniform like everyone else, black is such a boring color…_ Thoughts raced around in his head as he continued his workout.

"Good morning, Sasuke!"

Sasuke's stomach fluttered. "Good morning, Rukia," he said , spotting her diminutive figure.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," she said.

Sasuke shrugged. "That's okay. I woke up early."

As Rukia led him around Soul Society, he listened with rapture to every word she spoke. "Outside this gate is Rukongai, the outer city where most of the souls live. Renji and I used to live there as well, before we became Soul Reapers."

"Really?" Sasuke said, concealing his annoyance. _Why was Renji with her?_

Rukia nodded. "That's the place where you and your friends were found as well."

Unpleasant memories came back to Sasuke. "The…Rukongai is really poor, yet Seireitei is much wealthier and cleaner. Why can't the people in Seireitei help the people in Rukongai?"

Rukia paused. "I don't know," she admitted. "That's a good idea. I should tell my brother." Sasuke and Rukia suddenly heard screams. "It's a Hollow!" someone yelled. "Help!"

Rukia unsheathed her zanpakuto and ran off in the direction of the screams, Sasuke following closely behind. He soon saw a monster with a gigantic hole in its chest and a white mask on its face. _Is that the Hollow?_ he thought. _It sure is ugly._

"Dance, Sode no Shirayuki!" Rukia yelled. Sasuke watched, transfixed, as her zanpakuto became totally white with a long white ribbon dangling from the pommel. "First Dance, White Moon!"

The Hollow backflipped out of the way as a circle of ice appeared underneath it. "Next Dance, White Ripple!" Rukia commanded. A wave of ice blasted outward from her zanpakuto's blade, which the Hollow jumped over. Leaping into the air, she slashed at the Hollow's mask. "Hyyyaaaahhh!"

Unfortunately, before she could hit the Hollow, it grasped her zanpakuto in its claws and flipped it away. Sasuke rushed forward, watching as the Hollow prepared to finish off Rukia. _I can do this without releasing my zanpakuto. That jerk Orochimaru was at least good at swordsmanship._

While the Hollow was distracted, Sasuke hacked at one of its legs. It howled in pain as it came crashing down to the ground. Rukia yelled, "Slice his head in half!"

Sasuke did, and the Hollow vanished. Rukia came up to him, beaming. "That was amazing swordsmanship! Better even than Ichigo Kurosaki's! Renji didn't teach you that, did he?"

"No. Someone else did." _A creepy freak with an overgrown tongue, bleached skin, and a sword in his stomach, that is._

"Thank you for saving me." Rukia blushed again. She looked at the sky. "It's almost noon. Would you like to eat lunch?"

"Okay." In his mind, Inner Sasuke shouted, _Score! I finally got a date!_

Sasuke had felt nervous when Rukia led him to the Kuchiki main house, but she assured him that most of her family members were either out doing Soul Reaper duty or eating lunch inside. They snuck through the mansion to a small garden with cherry trees all around.

"This is Byakuya's private garden," Rukia explained as she brought out lunchboxes. "No one is allowed to come in here except for him and me. Did I tell you? My sister was Byakuya's wife, and when she died, I was adopted into the Kuchiki family."

"So you're not biologically related, then."

"No."

Sasuke marveled at how delicious the lunch was. Rukia turned pink as she mumbled she had cooked it herself. "You're strong, good at cooking, and beautiful. Is there anything you can't do?" Sasuke clapped his hand over his traitorous mouth. He meant to tease her, but the part about being beautiful slipped out unintentionally. _Oh no, she's going to think I'm a jerk or something bad…_

Rukia flushed even more. "Actually, I…I think you're really handsome, Sasuke," she said, her words coming out in a jumble.

They began to lean towards each other. _This is it,_ Sasuke thought.

Footsteps sounded loudly outside the door. "Rukia? Are you in there?"

"Shoot!" Rukia whispered. She looked at Sasuke. He nodded and jumped onto the rooftop. Rukia waved her hand, smiling at him, and opened the door. "Yes?"

"Captain Ukitake said he had a mission for you."

"Oh," Rukia said disappointedly. "Tell him I'm coming. Don't wait for me!" she said, with a little too much emphasis. Sasuke got the hint and, slightly depressed, exited the Kuchiki grounds.


	8. The Field Trip

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach

Chapter Nine: The Field Trip

"Hey n00bs!" Renji had gathered all the ninja onto the field, save Sasuke, who was mysteriously MIA. "We're going to meet the captains today."

"Says who?" demanded Lee. "I wanted to train!"

"Captain Yamamoto of the first division said so," said Renji. "He is one of the strongest Soul Reapers in all of Seireitei, so you should come if you don't want to be roasted."

"Fine, I'm going," Lee said. Renji led the group through Seireitei until they came to a complex with the sign that said "First Division" on it. They walked through a maze of corridors and passed by serious looking Soul Reapers who didn't even look at the ninja. Finally, Renji opened a wooden door. It opened to a long room. All the captains were there, and at the front stood an old Soul Reaper with a white beard.

"Welcome!" boomed the man. "I'm General Shigekuni Yamamoto, captain of the First Division. Today you'll meet the other captains and their lieutenants. Let's go in order starting with you, Soifon."

"I'm Captain Soifon of the Second Division. I'm the leader of the special forces department."

Naruto raised his hand. "What?" Soifon asked.

"Do you have a last name?"

"Yes, but I don't feel like telling you all," Soifon said.

"I'm Captain Byakuya Kuchiki of the Sixth Division," said Byakuya. "I'm the head of the Kuchiki family. And I'm a noble, which means I'm better than you."

"I hate those kinds of people," Neji muttered with disgust.

"Hey!" shouted Naruto. "What about the captains for the other divisions?"

"Oh, them?" said Yamamoto. "Gin Ichimaru and Sosuke Aizen are…absent. Captain Retsu Uohana of the Fourth Division isn't here because she's too boring. Next."

"I'm Captain Shunsui Kyoraku of the Eighth Division. "And I…like to drink sake."

"Let me guess," said Gaara. "The captain of the Seventh Division isn't here because he isn't interesting?

"Yep," Yamamoto replied.

"I wonder why I came when half the captains didn't show up," muttered Shino, shaking his head.

"I'm Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya of the Tenth Division," said Hitsugaya. "I'm the boy genius and the youngest in a long time to ever become captain."

"Boy genius?" said Shikamaru. "You must be good at Shogi, then."

"Actually," said Hitsugaya with a smirk, "I'm the champion of Shogi in Soul Society…"

"Next!" shouted Yamamoto. "Oh yeah, and the captain of the Ninth Division…is also boring and missing."

"I'm Captain Zaraki Kenpachi of the Eleventh Division," said Kenpachi, glancing at Naruto and Gaara. "And fighting is a game for me!" He laughed maniacally.

"And I'm captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi of the Twelfth Division," a man with a strange, colorful mask said. "I'm the head of the of the Soul Reaper Research Institute."

"That guy's creepier than Orochimaru," Sakura whispered to Ino.

"Where's Jushiro Ukitake?" asked Yamamoto.

"He is…having a coughing fit at the moment," said Captain Shunsui.

"Oh," said Yamamoto. "Well, new Soul Reapers, you can talk to the captains. Some of the lieutenants have come, too."

Several ninja approached the captains and lieutenants and began talking. Shino was standing by the wall when he saw Captain Kurotsuchi making his way toward him. Shino had a bad feeling about this.

"So who are you?" asked Captain Kurotsuchi.

"I'm Shino Aburame," said Shino.

"Many people told me that the new Soul Reapers possess strange powers. Do you have any?"

"Well, I have destruction bugs living inside me," said Shino, trying to scare the captain off.

"Really?" said Captain Kurotsuchi, quite unfazed.

"Yes. See?" Shino made a swarm of bugs rise from his arms. _If this doesn't get rid of him, I don't know what will._

To his discomfort, the captain looked excited. "Why don't you come to my laboratory so I can dissect you?" said Captain Kurotsuchi, thinking of all the experiments he could perform.

"No!" shouted Shino, who had the sudden urge to kill him with his bugs of doom, but restrained himself.

"Is anything wrong?" asked Hinata, who saw Shino's tense face.

"Wow!" said Captain Kurotsuchi, turning to her. "Just look at your eyes! Would you like to come to my laboratory to get your eyes dissected?"

Kiba came to the rescue and punched Kurotsuchi in the face. "What's your problem? You don't go up to random people and ask them if they want to be dissected!"

Not far away, Shikamaru and Captain Hitsugaya were talking.

"So you're the best Shogi player out of all the captains?" asked Shikamaru, interested.

"Yes, I can beat all of them in five minutes! So would you like to play?" asked Hitsugaya, who was already devising all the different plans on how he could beat Shikamaru.

"Sure," said Shikamaru.

"But I don't have a board or pieces," said Hitsugaya in a disappointed voice.

"No worries!" said Shikamaru, taking a suspicious black box out of his pocket. "I brought my small collapsible Shogi board complete with miniature pieces!"

"Perfect!" said Hitsugaya. They walked to a corner and played Shogi.

In five minutes, Shikamaru said, "I win."

"I call a rematch!" shouted Hitsugaya, clearing the board. "I will win now!" But after another five minutes, he was beaten again.

"This isn't fair!" he roared. "I declare a rematch!"

Farther away, Neji and Byakuya were bickering about superiority.

"Just because you're the head of a noble family doesn't mean you're better than everyone else," said Neji. Superiority complexes annoyed him to no end, since Naruto beat it into him that arrogance is unfounded.

"Of course I am. I pwn you all," Byakuya said indifferently.

"Oh? Are you to strongest captain here?"

"Of course. I have the most powerful bankai in Soul Society."

"That's a tall statement."

"Not at all," Byakuya responded. "It's the truth."

"Says who? Yourself?"

"I did, with my divine logic. It is useless to defy it."

Not far away, Ten Ten was talking to Soifon.

"Hello, I'm Ten Ten," said Ten Ten. "So what do you like to do?"

"I like training with lady Yoruichi, I like going on missions with lady Yoruichi, I like eating with lady Yoruichi, I like talking with lady Yoruichi, I like thinking of lady Yoruichi, and I like having midnight walks with lady Yoruichi…"

"Do you like doing things that doesn't have to do with Yoruichi?" asked Ten Ten, who was quite surprised that this captain worshipped someone so much. (And she thought she used to be obsessed with Neji.)

Soifon thought for a moment. "No, and I wish lady Yoruichi was here…" Ten Ten left Soifon still muttering about Yoruichi.

"That captain is so obsessed with that lady Yoruichi that it scares me!" exclaimed Ten Ten.

Close by, Ino and Lieutenant Rangiku Matsumoto of the Tenth Division were discovering they had many common interests.

"So do you like my new nail polish?" asked Ino.

"Oh my gosh!" gushed Matsumoto. "Where did you ever get that shade of purple? It's so beautiful!"

"Oh! I got it at the best make-up store in the Hidden Leaf Village," replied Ino. "I also have great shades of pink, blue and green!"

"Can I see them?" Matsumoto asked. "I wonder if Seireitei has the exact same colors as in…your village." An idea suddenly struck her. "Would you like to go on a shopping spree with me?" Matsumoto asked in a cheerful voice.

"Sure!" said Ino, delighted. At least one ninja was having a good time.

On the other side of the room, Chouji and Rock Lee were talking.

"This is so boring," said Lee. "I want to be outside training!"

"Maybe we can ask Yamamoto if we can leave early," suggested Chouji. "This room is getting stuffy."

"Well, I'm not sure," said Lee. "That Yamamoto person looks scary to me."

"We'll just have to wait then," said Chouji, taking out a bag of barbecued chips.

In the corner, Kankuro and Temari were trying to console Gaara.

"Gaara, cheer up!" said Temari brightly. "It's a gathering, and now's the perfect chance to meet the strongest captains. Just stop being antisocial, will you?"

"I'm dead," said Gaara sullenly. "How can I have fun when I'm dead?"

"Always so negative," said Kankuro with a shake of his head. "Listen to Temari, Gaara. Have fun."

"But I was the Kazekage!" moaned Gaara. "What state is the Hidden Sand Village in now?"

Giving up, Temari and Kankuro walked away from the sulking Gaara.

Not far away, Sakura, Naruto, and Shunsui were talking.

"You remind me of pervvy sage!" exclaimed Naruto. "You're exactly like him!"

"Who is this pervvy sage?" asked Shunsui.

"He was his sensei," explained Sakura. "Jiraiya, the Toad Hermit, one of the Sannin or Three Legendary Ninja."

"I see," said Shunsui, not seeing at all. He wondered what a "ninja" was, but didn't want to appear stupid in front of the newbies.

"Come to think of it, I'll call you pervvy sage number two!" said Naruto. "Now I'm going to show you a jutsu that will…"

Sakura hit him in the head. "Don't you dare think about it!" she shouted.

"It was only a joke!" Naruto said. "Sheesh." As Sakura turned back to talk to the confused captain, Naruto grinned slyly. "Sexy Jutsu!" he shouted, turning into a girl with skimpy clothes.

"Ahh! So pretty!" said Shunsui, his eyes popping out of their sockets. "You're too beautiful to even look at! You're even more beautiful than my lieutenant!"

"Gosh, you're so pathetic," said Naruto, turning back to his regular form. "You really are exactly like pervvy sage."

"Naruto!" roared Sakura and punched him on the head again.

Sitting on a throne-like chair, Yamamoto shouted, "Okay, the getting-to-know-each-other meeting is dismissed." All the ninja and captains ran out the door. Kenpachi, who was trying to find Naruto and Gaara in the crowd, looked for them, but couldn't find them anywhere.

"Shoot," said Kenpachi disappointedly. "I lost my chance to slice them into bite-sized pieces!"

Naruto blinked. He blinked again. Did he just see who he thought he saw? "He-ey, Sasuke! Where were you?"

Sasuke looked strangely absentminded. "What? Uh…nowhere. Why, did something happen?"

"You bet. You missed meeting with the captains and lieutenants! We got to meet almost everyone, except for a few that were…'too boring' or 'missing' or something like that…"

"Wait a moment." Sasuke stared at Naruto. "The captains? Did you see Captain Kuchiki of the Sixth Division?"

Naruto scratched his head. "Hmm…oh yeah! Neji told me about that Byakuya Kuchiki guy. Said he had a superiority complex or something—"

"WHAT?!" Sasuke grabbed Naruto by the shoulders and started shaking him like a madman. "Why didn't you tell me?! I can't believe I missed out on something so important!"

"Geez, Sasuke, calm down, will you? And stop yelling in my ear!" Naruto broke free from Sasuke's grip. "Well, we were looking for you all over the place but we couldn't find you anywhere. Besides, the captains seemed boring to me."

Sasuke huffed and stomped away. _What's with him?_ Naruto wondered.


	9. The Interrogation

Chapter Ten: The Interrogation

Yamamoto noticed one of the new Soul Reapers had remained in the room. "What do you want?"

"Well, I was wondering if you could answer some questions I had about Soul Society. I tried to ask Renji—"

"You mean Lieutenant Abarai," Yamamoto corrected.

"Yeah, that dude. Anyway, I tried to ask him, but he told me to go away. So I was wondering if I could ask you instead."

Yamamoto scrutinized the Soul Reaper. He had black hair gathered in a spiky ponytail, small loop earrings, and a bored look on his face. "What's your name?"

"Shikamaru Nara."

"Well, Nara, go ahead and ask, but make it quick."

"First off, Renji—"

"Lieutenant Abarai," Yamamoto interjected, for the second time.

"Whatever. He said there are a set number of souls that are either in Soul Society or on earth. When souls die on earth, they come to Soul Society, and when they die in Soul Society, they are reincarnated on earth. Therefore, the number of souls in the universe stays the same. Correct?"

"Correct."

"Well, why are more people born than die? Why is the population growing? And if some souls also go to Hell, that means the number of souls doesn't stay the same, it decreases. So, to make up for this, are new souls created or what?

"Renji also mentioned the Quincys, who destroyed Hollows instead of purifying them. There seemed to be a lot of Quincys at some point, if their work was significant enough that Soul Reapers had to exterminate them. So what happened to all those destroyed souls? And if destroying souls is so bad, why is there the Sokyoku, an execution instrument that can destroy souls, in Soul Society that is used sometimes?

"I heard there's a king and a royal family in Seireitei, but they live in a separate dimension or something. If they don't make laws, then what _do_ they do?

"Why are only Soul Reapers hungry?

"Why haven't the 'missing' captains been replaced? And why—"

"Enough!" Yamamoto's eye twitched. In truth, he had never thought of what this Soul Reaper had mentioned, and was at a loss for how to answer the questions. But, unwilling to appear dull-witted to this infuriating newcomer, he only boomed, "Get out!"

Shuffling out the door, Shikamaru thought, _These Soul Reapers are really touchy about the illogical things in Soul Society._ He sighed. _And I still don't have my questions answered. What a drag._


	10. Shino's Walk Home

Chapter Eleven: Shino's Walk Home

Shino was walking back to the training field from the captain meeting. He had quite enough of crazy people wanting to dissect innocent people. As he was walking, the bugs that lived in his body started jittering. Shino stopped walking.

"Who's there?" he called out. _If it's the captain of the Twelfth Division, I'm going to run for it,_ he thought. A woman with black hair stepped out. He sighed with relief. _Yes! It's not the mad scientist!__ But __why is she stalking me? _Turning to the woman, he asked, "Who are you?"

"I'm Nemu Kurotsuchi, lieutenant of the Twelfth Division," said Nemu.

Shino slowly backed away. "If you're going to ask if I want to be dissected, the answer is no!"

"Oh," said Nemu in a disappointed voice. "Then I'll have to do it."

"Do what?" asked an uneasy Shino.

"Captain Kurotsuchi said that if you didn't come willingly, I'll have to bring you by force." Nemu flash stepped behind Shino and stabbed him with her zanpakuto. Shino dissolved into bugs. The bugs crawled away.

"That's interesting," said Nemu. "If I just follow this trail of bugs, it must lead to him!" Nemu began chasing after the bugs.

Shino was actually fleeing down the street not far away. "Good! My bug clone fooled her! But not for long." Racing down the street, he turned the corner and entered the training field where all the other ninja were. He was fed up with this whole Soul Reaper thing.

"Why is everyone so weird in Soul Society?" he screamed. "I'm sick of this dissecting business!"

"Did Shino just scream?" said Kiba, dumbfounded.

"Well, there has to be a first time for everything," said Naruto, though he was just as disconcerted.

Shino was actually quite wrong when he thought that Nemu wouldn't be fooled for long. By the time it was midnight, she was still following the trail of bugs. She had made ten laps around Seireitei without knowing it.

Shino, who was still controlling the bugs, thought, "Not only are Soul Reapers weird, but stupid too." He told his bugs to go though bushes and into the main houses, and the first division complex, places she wouldn't go without permission. But she kept following the trail of bugs. Shino had no way of knowing that she was actually a robot, or artificial life form, created by the mad scientist Mayuri Kurotsuchi. Consequently, she didn't need any sleep and Shino stayed up till midnight before he finally gave up and dispersed the bugs.


	11. Star Crossed Lovers

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach

Chapter Twelve: Star-Crossed Lovers

Sasuke returned to his shared room and found a piece of paper tucked into his pillow. "Meet me at the training grounds tonight. R."

He almost jumped for joy at another chance to be with Rukia, though he had to wonder how she figured out which bed was his.

Rukia was waiting for him this time. "Come on! There's something I want to show you." She grabbed his hand and led him into the forest at the edge of the training grounds. Sasuke stumbled over roots and nearly crashed into a few branches, but he eventually made it through and came to a clearing. Rukia let go and walked up to the top of the hill in the clearing. "Look up!"

Sasuke did. He involuntarily gasped as he looked at the night sky. "It's…beautiful." The stars were bright and scattered throughout the sky. It had been a while since he was able to appreciate so many stars in one place, glittering like a treasure chest full of jewels, like this.

"I love this view," Rukia said softly. "It's so vast and mysterious."

Sasuke looked at her. _Just like you,_ he thought. "Rukia…I…" He swallowed hard as she turned to face him. "I think I'm in love with you."

Her eyes shone brighter than the sparkling stars. "Oh, Sasuke…I love you too."

They leaned closer, their eyes closing. This time, there would be no interruptions.


	12. The Mission Is…Infiltrate Hueco Mundo

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach

Chapter Thirteen: The Mission Is…Infiltrate Hueco Mundo

Naruto yawned. "Hey, Sakura, have you seen Sasuke around lately? He's always been disappearing, and he seemed pretty mad last time I saw him."

Sakura shook her head. "No. I wonder what we're gathering for?"

Naruto shrugged. "Hopefully they finally have something for us to do."

Renji's voice rose over the muttering ninja. "All right! Is everyone here?"

"Everyone except for Sasuke," Shikamaru said. "That guy's such a drag."

Renji scowled. "He better come soon, because General Yamamoto has a mission for you all."

The ninja broke into excited whispers. "Finally there's something to do," Gaara said.

"There's Sasuke!" Ino said. Sure enough, Sasuke walked slowly to the group, a silly grin on his face.

"G'morning, everyone. What's the hubbub about?"

The ninja stared at him. Sasuke was _never_ this cheerful, especially in the morning. Renji cleared his throat. "Ah, look, here comes General Yamamoto now. Pay attention."

Yamamoto made his way toward the ninja. "Good morning, Soul Reapers! The other captains and I have decided to give you a mission. It's a dangerous mission that involves the following: going to Hueco Mundo, infiltrating Aizen's fortress, and assassinating Sosuke Aizen, Gin Ichimaru, and Kaname Tosen. Is that clear?"

"Could we have an explanation, please?" Neji asked. "What's Hueco Mundo? Who are these people we are supposed to kill? Where's the fortress?"

Renji answered, "Hueco Mundo is the place between Soul Society and the human world where Hollows are created. Aizen, Ichimaru, and Tozen are all former Soul Reaper captains who have allied with the Hollows."

"So that's what happened to some of the captains," Gaara muttered.

"They are extremely powerful, so you must be careful. Aizen is the leader and mastermind of the trio. His fortress is the only building in Hueco Mundo, so you shouldn't have much of a problem finding it. You must also be careful of the Menos Grande, which are ten times the size of normal Hollows, and the arrancar, Hollow/Soul Reaper hybrids created by Aizen."

"Yeah, whatever," Naruto said. "When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow at dawn. Captain Ukitake will be waiting at the training grounds. He will open the portal for you to enter Hueco Mundo. Oh yeah, and you'll be going with the great Ichigo Kurosaki!"

The name struck a chord in Shikamaru's memory. "Ichigo Kurosaki? That's the Soul Reaper who lives on Earth, right?"

"Correct. Now go prepare yourselves for the mission tomorrow."

Sasuke was dismayed. To be separated from Rukia was too much for him to bear. All of the other ninja, however, were either excited or glad to get away from Soul Society.

Naruto got up early the next morning, for once. He went outside and saw Gaara, sitting on the roof as always. "Morning, Gaara! Ready for the mission?"

Gaara shrugged. "It can't be all that hard."

"There you are!" yelled a voice. Naruto and Gaara froze. "I've been looking all over for you two!" Kenpachi declared. "Prepare to die!"

"Not him again," Gaara sighed, and took off running with Naruto. The two blazed through the streets of Seireitei.

"Wait, Gaara! The sun's rising!"

"So? It rises every day."

"We have to be at that portal, remember?"

Gaara began to sweat. "Why did we run into the city again?"

They leapt onto the roofs and started running back to the training grounds. Temari had just been the last one to go through the portal. A captain with long white hair coughed. "It's almost time for the portal to close…"

Naruto and Gaara burst onto the field. "Wait! Don't close it! Wait for us!" They sprinted through the closing portal. Kenpachi dashed after them, only to run into a tree as the portal had already closed.

"Darn it, Ukitake, why'd you close the portal?!" Kenpachi roared.

Jushiro Ukitake, captain of the Thirteenth Division with tubercular lungs, coughed again. "Maybe another day, Kenpachi."


	13. Welcome to Hueco Mundo

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach

Chapter Fourteen: Welcome to Hueco Mundo

"Where are we?" asked Temari. The ninja looked around. The sky was a dull gray and a large boulder stood in front of them. Peering around the boulder, the ninja saw ugly creatures walking around. They wore white masks and had reptilian bodies.

"I think these are the Hollows," said Ten Ten. All of a sudden, she spied a person with orange hair and carrying a zanpakuto on his back. "Guys, who is that?" Ten Ten pointed to the orange haired person.

"Hey kid! Who are you?" shouted Naruto.

"Quiet, Naruto!" said Sakura. "We don't want to attract those Hollows."

The person started walking to the ninja. "I am the great Ichigo Kurosaki!" he said haughtily. "Bow down to me, you n00bs!"

"He makes Byakuya look humble," Neji commented.

"I wonder why Soul Society asked me to team up with you guys," said Ichigo disdainfully, casting an eye over the ninja. "I can infiltrate Aizen's fortress by myself!"

"So you know where it is?" asked Sasuke.

"Yeah, it's not far from this boulder," replied Ichigo. "So I say we go!"

"Who said you were the leader?" asked Ino. "I say we vote for a leader! I'm not rushing in there without someone to lead us!"

"Yeah!" said Kiba. "And the only person who will give us a good opinion is Hinata!"

"Me?" said Hinata nervously. "Well, okay. I don't really know who, so when I say someone's name, whoever wants them to be leader will raise their hands and whoever gets the largest show of hands will be leader."

"This is ridiculous!" shouted Ichigo. Naruto punched him on the head.

"Who votes Naruto?" asked Hinata. No one raised their hands.

"What?" shouted Naruto. "Fine."

"Who votes Gaara?"

"I don't want to be the leader!" snarled Gaara.

"Who votes Ichigo?" No one raised their hands—except for Ichigo, of course.

"What?" said Ichigo. "I would make the best leader…"

"Who votes Shikamaru?" Everyone raised their hands except for Ichigo and Shikamaru.

"Why do I always have to be the leader?" Shikamaru complained. "I mean, being leader all the time is such a drag."

"Would you rather have _him_ as leader?" Naruto pointed at Ichigo, who glared at him.

"You've got a point there. Okay, so I think we should look around the fortress and find all the entrances. Then, we'll study any patterns and who leaves the fortress at what time. We don't have a time limit, so we should be cautious and take as much time as we need."

"No way!" said Ichigo. "That takes too long! I say we attack with full force and take them by surprise!" Ichigo left the safety of the boulder and went sprinting to the tall fortress.

"Now what?" asked Lee. "Should we follow him?"

"Well, I don't know. We might as well go," said Shikamaru. "Maybe he'll clear out some Hollows and stuff for us." Reluctantly, they followed after Ichigo. When they approached the entrance, they saw Ichigo fighting huge Hollows. They were as tall as the fortress itself and had black bodies, as well as white masks with long, pointed noses.

"Those must be the Menos Grande," said Chouji. "They're huge!"

As they watched Ichigo fight the hollows, Ichigo began blocking more than attacking. A big wound appeared in his arm, so he switched his sword to his left hand. The Hollows surrounded Ichigo until he stood in the middle.

"Help me!" he shrieked.

"So this is the great Ichigo Kurosaki?" said Sasuke sarcastically. "His swordsmanship is terrible! He missed a lot of chances he could have beaten those Hollows!"

"Yeah, I know," Neji agreed. "Is this all the great Ichigo Kurosaki has?"

"Help me!" shouted Ichigo again. No one moved. "I said help me!"

Ten Ten unsheathed her sword and said, "Rise, Shoryu!" Her zanpakuto changed into a large shuriken. She threw it at the group of Hollows. Instantly, the shruiken multiplied. Soon, a whole army of colossal shuriken went hurdling toward the hollows. The shuriken sliced through the thick bodies of the Hollows.

"Slice the mask in half!" shouted Sasuke. Ten Ten threw her arms up. The army of gargantuan shuriken went spiraling toward the Hollows' faces. It sliced through the white mask. Instantly, Menos Grandes disappeared. Ichigo stood in the on the ground panting.

"How were you able to do it?" asked Ichigo. "You killed them!" The shuriken disappeared until there was one left. It went back to Ten Ten's hands and turned back to a regular, unreleased zanpakuto.

"Oh, it wasn't hard," said Ten Ten with a shrug. "Just wait until you see my final release!"

"Let's keep going!" Naruto complained. I'm tired of waiting! I still want to show off my powers!"

"Shikamaru, do you have any plans?" asked Sakura.

"Well, that Aizen dude must know that we're here already, so we'll move on, but be careful. Anyone who senses something close by," said Shikamaru, looking at Shino and Kiba, "will raise their hand." Everyone nodded except for Ichigo, who was already walking into the fortress. The group followed.

After a while of walking and Ichigo muttering, Shino and Kiba raised their hands at the same exact moment. Everyone stopped walking and surveyed the area except for Ichigo, who kept walking.

"What are you guys doing?" asked Ichigo.

"Shhhh!" Kankuro whispered.

"What?" said Ichigo. "No one's here!" But when he turned around, he saw a figure standing near them. "Aha! Aizen! Today, you'll die!" said Ichigo. "Ban…"

Aizen flash stepped behind Ichigo and stabbed him in the back with his zanpakuto.

"And there goes the great Ichigo Kurosaki," said Aizen blithely, pulling his zanpakuto out of Ichigo. "So who are you?"

"Oh, we aren't reinforcements," said Kiba. "It's not like we came here to help him. We don't even know why you're bad. Nope, not a clue."

"I see," said Aizen. "But you guys must be pretty strong if Soul Society sent you guys instead of captains. Either that, or Soul Society is getting more stupid." Aizen disappeared.

"Guess we can leave now," said Gaara.

"Yeah, let's…"

All of a sudden, Menos Grandes appeared out of nowhere.

"Gosh! We have to battle more of these?" groaned Ten Ten.

Naruto cracked his knuckles. "Fat Grandes, here I come!"


	14. The Big Bad Grandes

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach

Chapter Fifteen: The Big Bad Grandes

"We need a plan," Shikamaru said as the Menos Grandes surrounded them. "We don't know how many Menos there are, or how many other foes are in this godforsaken fortress, so we should conserve our strength. We can take turns fighting the Menos in three groups: one group fights, one group rests, and the other group covers. Everyone got it?"

They nodded. Keeping an eye on the leering Menos, Shikamaru continued, "Okay, first group: Naruto, Sasuke, Temari, Lee, and Shino. Second group: Sakura, Kiba, Chouji, Hinata, and Kankuro. Third group: Ino, Ten Ten, Neji, Gaara, and myself. All right, everyone, go!"

"Yeah! It's my turn, believe it!" Naruto said. He slammed his foot into a Menos's face.

"Naruto! Cut the face in half, you idiot!" Sasuke yelled. He unsheathed his zanpakuto. "Burn, Housenka!" His blade blazed with flames as he sliced a Menos. The Menos sizzled and melted into a puddle. Another Menos took its place. Sasuke swore. "Bankai!" he shouted. His zanpakuto exploded as it struck all of the Menos in the room.

"Hey, no fair! I wanted some action!" Naruto complained, kicking at a puddle of Menos Grande.

"Well, that was kind of quick," Shikamaru said. "What, is that all of Aizen's forces?"

Another group of Menos Grade fell from the ceiling. Temari smirked. "Leave it to me," she said, unsheathing her zanpakuto. "Exhale, Kamaitachi!"

Her zanpakuto transformed into a giant fan. "Wind Scythe Jutsu!" Temari yelled, using her fan to create a giant whirlwind. The Menos floated helplessly inside the whirlwind, but they did not die.

"Bankai!"

Thunder crashed through the ceiling, electrocuting the Menos. Temari swung her fan, whacking a Menos and crushing its mask.

"Let me help! Bankai!" Lee kicked a Menos up into the air (which was no small feat, seeing as the Menos was ten stories high) and gave it a beating. "Hidden Lotus!"

Naruto cautiously creeped up to the fallen Menos. "Hey, Bushy Brows, you caved in the Big Grande's face," he said. Meanwhile, Temari had finished cutting up the rest of the Menos into bite-sized pieces.

"You guys missed one!" Sakura shrieked. They turned. A large burst of energy was forming at the Menos's mouth.

"Everyone take cover!" Shikamaru yelled. A moment later, a crashing boom filled the air as the Menos used its Doom Blast. The ninja uncovered their eyes as the dust began to settle. Sakura stood in the middle of a crater, thoroughly burnt.

"Sakura! Are you all right?" Naruto asked, bounding up to her.

She raised her head. Naruto backed away as he saw flames burning in her eyes. "Okay, you asked for it, you Fat Grande!" she screamed. "Bankai!"

Her zanpakuto materialized into a clone of herself, except with the words "Inner Sakura" on its forehead. Otherwise, it looked exactly like Sakura…only black and white. Inner Sakura cracked her knuckles and ran up to the Menos.

"CHA!" The ninja watched, stupefied, as Inner Sakura unleashed a barrage of punches onto the Menos. Sakura appeared above and, using her insane strength, punched a hole in the Menos's face. "That's what you get for ruining my hair, you freak!"

The Menos fell to the ground and dissolved. Sakura and Inner Sakura high-fived before Inner Sakura turned into a normal zanpakuto.

"Good job, Sakura!" Naruto said.

"Is anyone hurt?" Shikamaru asked. When they answered no, he said, "Okay, it looks like there's no more Big Grandes—I mean, Menos." He glared at Naruto, who had first used the term. "Let's move out. Neji, Hinata, can you scout ahead?"

They nodded and said simultaneously, "Byakugan!" Veins popped on the side of their faces as they saw through walls and nearly three-hundred and sixty degrees around themselves. "There are some Hollows behind a gate in the next room," Hinata said. "They seem to be smaller than the Big Grandes, though."

"What, you mean there are Medium Grandes, too?" Naruto said.

"How do you know they aren't just overgrown Hollow?" Sasuke asked.

"Big Grandes _are_ oversized Hollow!" Naruto replied.

"Quiet, you two! Okay, this is what we're going to do…"


	15. The Mini Grandes

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach

Chapter Sixteen: The Mini Grandes

"That was fast," Neji said as they walked through the gate.

"These Grandes are pathetic," Gaara remarked.

What had happened was this: Shino had used his bankai and set up a Destruction Bug Meteor above the gate. Naruto reluctantly opened the gate, the Grandes rushed through, and the bug meteor crashed around their heads, eating them alive.

"We didn't even get to see what the Medium Grandes looked like," Shikamaru said.

"Who cares?" Ino shuddered. "They're probably uglier than the Big Grandes."

"Hey, you Soul Reapers!"

The group halted as two human-sized figures came toward them. They were, unsurprisingly, rather ugly. The one with spiky blue-gray hair spoke first. "I am Grimmjow Jaggerjack, the Sixth Espada!"

"And I'm Ulquiorra, the Fourth Espada," his zombie-like companion said.

The ninja stared. "Um, why did you tell us your names?" Kankuro asked. "And what's an Espada?"

"Because you're going to die soon, and the Espada are ten of the elite arrancar," Grimmjow answered.

"Grimmjow Jaggerjack? That's the randomest name I've ever heard," Naruto muttered. "And I thought your name was weird, Gaara, 'cause it meant 'I love myself'."

"What's an arrancar?" Temari asked.

Ulquiorra said in a monotone voice, "Arrancar are Soul Reaper/Hollow hybrids created by the Great Master Aizen."

"Renji explained that already," Kankuro pointed out.

Temari shrugged. "Oh well, it's not like I can remember all these names. What language is 'arrancar' from?"

"Enough blather, Ulquiorra. Which one should I kill first?" Grimmjow's eyes ranged over the ninja.

Shikamaru, hoping that the Espadas' hesitation in striking meant they were unwilling to fight, asked Ulquiorra, "You say there are ten Espada. Where are the rest?"

"Them? They died. Ichigo Kurosaki and his friends killed them."

Ino's jaw dropped. "Ichigo Kurosaki did? How? He seemed like such a bozo."

"I'll kill the one with red hair and eyeliner!" Grimmjow declared. He charged at Gaara and was about to unsheathe his zanpakuto when he crashed into Gaara's wall of sand. It was three feet thick and as hard as cement.

Ulquiorra slowly looked over in a disinterested way. "Hey, Grimmjow, get up."

Blood streamed down from a gash on Grimmjow's skull as he lay on the ground, motionless. After a few moments, he twitched and slowly staggered to his feet. "I am up," he said.

"Fine. Let's go report to Great Master Aizen." Ulquiorra turned around.

Grimmjow grinned. He unsheathed his zanpakuto and stabbed Ulquiorra in the back. Ulquiorra fell to the ground without a sound.

The group stared at Grimmjow. "What…the…?" Shikamaru said.

"Release!" Grimmjow said, and fell to the ground as well. They followed the blue trail of light until it reached Ino's body. "Surprise!" she said. "I took over his body to save us all some trouble."

Shikamaru frowned. "But Grimmjow was dead. So how were you able to move?"

Kankuro chuckled. His fingers glowed with a blue light. "A dead body is just another puppet. It was a piece of cake."

"Good job, you two. Now that we have the Mini Grandes out of the way, let's go meet the big fry."

"You mean more Big Grandes?" Naruto said.

"No! I mean Aizen, you idiot!"


	16. The Ex Captains

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach

Chapter Seventeen: The Ex-Captains

They passed through a few more doors before coming to a large, well-lit room. Aizen stood in the center with two others: a silver-haired man with his eyes closed and an idiotic grin on his face, and a dark-skinned man with dreadlocks and a visor. "Greetings, Soul Reapers. I trust your journey has not been too hazardous?"

"Actually, it was quite easy. Your Big Grandes and Mini Grandes were lame," Kiba said.

Aizen looked blank. "Mini Grandes?"

Off to the side, Lee asked Ichimaru, "Are you blind?"

"No. Duh. Tosen's the one who's blind." He pointed at his silent companion.

"Then why are your eyes always closed?"

"Because it's too much effort to open them."

Tosen stepped forward and unsheathed his zanpakuto. "Aizen, let me deal with the intruders. Ban…kai!"

Darkness descended upon the room. Tosen's disembodied voice sounded from a distance. "You are trapped within Suzumushi's range. All of your senses are useless. All you can do is wait until the end comes, silently."

Neji sighed with resignation. _These people never learn. Nothing can escape my Byakugan._ Veins popped on the side of his face as he activated his Byakugan. Everything became as clear as day: Aizen and Ichimaru were standing outside, watching the show, while Tosen was slowly making his way toward Naruto, who was flailing around as though he was drowning and didn't know how to swim. He darted toward Tosen.

"Eight Trigrams, two palms!" He struck Tosen, who yelped in surprise.

"Four palms! Eight palms! Sixteen palms! Thirty-two palms!"

Tosen staggered as Neji's rapid-fire blows to the pressure points struck true.

"Sixty-four palms!"

Tosen flew backwards and let go of his zanpakuto. Everything returned to normal. "Man, that was weird," Sasuke said, shaking his head.

Aizen cleared his throat. "Ahem…Tosen, are you all right?"

"Yes." Tosen got up shakily.

"Good." As Aizen turned away, Shikamaru muttered, "Shadow Possession Jutsu!" His shadow elongated and touched Tosen's shadow. Before Tosen could say anything, hand-shaped shadows reached up Tosen's body and strangled him.

Aizen turned around as Tosen crumpled to the ground for no reason at all. "Oh well, looks like he's under too much stress," Aizen commented.

Taking advantage of Aizen's diverted attention, Chouji said, "Partial Expansion Jutsu!" His fist swelled up to five times its normal size and he punched Ichimaru's idiotically grinning face. Ichimaru slammed against the wall.

"Gin?" Aizen turned around and observed Ichimaru's motionless body. He turned back to the ninja serenely. "So, you took out my lackeys—I mean, partners-in-crime without me noticing. I'm impressed. However…"

The door slammed shut behind the ninja and a lock clicked soundly. "You are now trapped in my Room of Nightmares! I will torture you with my ultra-secret-super-duper-cool hypnotizing techniques! And then I will use your bodies for experiments! Mwahahahahahaha!"

Aizen started laughing maniacally. He suddenly made a choking sound. As the ninja stared, his face turned beet red, his eyes rolled up into the back of his head, and he collapsed to the ground without a word.

The room was filled with silence. "What just happened?" Sakura asked.

"Unless this is one of his 'ultra-secret-super-duper-cool hypnotizing techniques', I think he choked on his saliva and died," Shikamaru responded.

Shino sighed. "And this was supposed to be a dangerous mission?"

"Whatever," Sasuke said distantly. He was thinking of returning back to his beloved Rukia as soon as possible. "Let's just go back already."

Several ninja groaned. "I have to admit this isn't exactly a dream vacation," Temari said. "But at least there's Hollows to kill around here. Soul Society is just plain boring."


	17. Homecoming

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach

Chapter Eighteen: Homecoming

"I confess, I did not expect you to return so quickly," Yamamoto said.

A few inaudible mutters sounded from the group. None of them knew what to do now that they were back in Boredom Society…except one.

Sasuke had snuck away from the group as soon as they stepped out of the portal. He raced to the Kuchiki house, feeling light and bubbly inside as he saw his heart's desire standing at the side entrance. "I'm back!" he said.

She hugged him almost to the point of death by suffocation. "Was it dangerous?" she asked, concern showing on her face.

"Nah, it was easy." Sasuke smirked and basked in his glory. The smirk slipped off his face, however, replaced by a serious look. "Rukia, I want to ask you something."

"What is it?" Her eyes were wide with curiosity.

He knelt down on one knee. "Will you marry me?"

Tears of happiness flowed from her eyes. "Yes. Of course I will."

Naruto raced through the streets of Seireitei. He was so bored that he decided to play pranks on all the captains and see what would happen. Normally, he would have scoffed at such a display of immaturity, but boredom was starting to drive him insane. Soul Reaper training was only amusing up to a point.

As he ran, he suddenly had the sense that he was being lifted up off the ground. Everything dissolved in a blur as he felt himself spiraling up into the sky.

He didn't even question what was happening to him. He was only glad that something different had happened to break the monotonous cycle of life in Soul Society.


	18. The Epilogue

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach

Chapter Nineteen: The Epilogue 

"Where am I?" asked Naruto. Surveying his surroundings, he saw his peers lying on the ground. "Hey guys, wake up!"

"I'm already awake!" shouted Gaara, who was angry, as usual. "Where are we? I don't like being in places I don't know of. Is this what Soul Society calls a joke? When I see them, I'm going to…"

"Can you stop screaming in my ear?" shouted Kankuro, getting up. By now, everyone was awake.

"What is this place?" asked Sasuke.

"Oh, you'll find out soon," said a creepy, familiar voice. A figure walked out of the shadows. He had long, black hair and skin as white as paper.

"Orochimaru?" said Sasuke, not believing his eyes. "I thought I killed you!"

"Oh, you only killed part of my soul!" laughed Orochimaru.

"What?"

"You see, dear Sasuke, I'm also a scientist. I figured out how to imprison half of my soul in a body. You only killed a part of me!" Orochimaru laughed manically.

"So you resurrected us from the dead?" asked Shino.

"Yes, so I could use guys for an experiment I've been wanting to do for twenty years!"

A vein throbbed on Shino's forehead. "No! Not more mad scientists! I've had enough of them in Soul Society!"

"I hate you," Naruto said to Orochimaru, "But at the same time, I have to thank you from saving us from that boring place."

"Now, you guys must come to my laboratory," said Orochimaru. He began laughing manically again. He laughed so hard that he tripped over Hinata's foot and bashed his head against the rocky wall.

"I suppose he's dead," said Temari. "Now let's get out of here." All of the ninja filed out of Orochimaru's gloomy lair.

"Here I come, world! Believe it!" Naruto shouted, racing down the hill.

On Earth, Ichigo was not happy. He thought he would go into Soul Society when he died, but since he died in Soul Society, he was back on Earth. He became a strawberry plant in his house's backyard. Thus ended the saga of the great Ichigo Kurosaki, captain-level Soul Reaper representative.

_We fear that which we cannot see…but once we see it, it becomes just another ordinary thing._

A/N: The story is finished! Thanks for reading.


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